Bonjour to you my dearest Friends 💗
Today is, well, an “interesting day” day for little me, from being the precise anniversary 🎉🎈🎉 of… when I DIED from a totally unexpected and brutal massive heart attack, exactly 1 year ago to this day !!!
And this very special day is filled with BOTH endless gratefulness of course… while ALSO experiencing the great dichotomy that this day is ALSO filled with fears, pain, sadness, and lots of PTSD, both from the heart attack, as well as also from the major amount of pain and trauma 😰😭😰 of the 6 surgeries that I had to go through during the months following my heart attack…
A major dichotomy also expressed, and illustrated, by the couple of snapshots here under that I thought of sharing with you…
So yes indeed, my heart and mind are of course first and foremost filled with the deep AWARENESS and GRATEFULNESS that it is indeed solely due to PURE LUCK 💗… in addition to ALL THE LOVE of my two amazing children… in addition to ALL THE LOVE of so many dear and so caring friends… in addition to ALL THE LOVE, skills, expertise and caring of my VERY MANY Doctor and Nurses and Surgeons and drug makers… that I am indeed still alive and around, and able to write these words to you 💗
And just like I always help so many friends remember when they come to me for relationship advice and/or healing from a break up … we can of course indeed totally experience and live VERY OPPOSITE emotions in our hearts, souls and minds, all at the very same time… all in the very same moment… and there is not a single thing “wrong” about such, or any reasons to get upset or distressed about it…
The CO EXISTENCE of apparently conflicting emotions is totally “OK” and “healthy”.
What you can work on and focus on though, is simply true ACCEPTANCE of it all… the self awareness of such emotions… welcoming them.. befriending them… and then, working on specific mental and emotional techniques and habits to get progressively to an always better place about it all 🙂😍
The CO EXISTENCE of apparently conflicting emotions is totally “OK” and “healthy”.
What you can work on and focus on though, is simply true ACCEPTANCE of it all… the self awareness of such emotions… welcoming them.. befriending them… and then, working on specific mental and emotional techniques and habits to get progressively to an always better place about it all 🙂😍
When people break up, there is indeed often a strong dichotomy in both experiencing great RELIEF, seeing hope for better and happier days, and less emotional pain and struggles… while ALSO missing the person (especially if you were in love with them)… missing the good and great things about him/her. Yet, one should simply NOT do anything “unhealthy” and source of extra pain such as… jumping in too quickly into another relationship… not being selective enough doing so… or worse, going back to your ex for the wrong reasons etc… solely for trying to AVOID the painful parts of the emotion experienced.
Simply ACCEPTING that dichotomy and focusing on your healthy decision to break up in the first place is always the healthiest, and most productive, path…
And so, today, aside from this little tangent 😉 about the subject of relationships… while I am experiencing the beautiful emotions of GRATEFULNESS… my soul and day is also filled with many fears, pain and PTSD 😢 😔
But in the big picture of it all, for the very fact that I am indeed still around to experience BOTH of those extremes and opposites of emotions… I am deeply grateful ! 💗
For the very fact that I can still hear the voice and see and hug my 2 amazing children, Jeremy and Stephanie… I am deeply grateful ! 💗
For the very fact that I can still hug and bring love, and receive love from, my many closest friends, and my very many friends… I am deeply grateful ! 💗
For the very fact that I can still, through my own eyes and mind, see, and experience, the endless magic, wonderment and love of our planet everywhere I look… I am deeply grateful ! 💗
Pretty much every single day WILL be filled with love and pain, with smiles and tears… and it is entirely up to each and everyone of us to choose to experience it as we so wish… with our minds and hearts filled with resentment… or with our entire being filled with love and gratefulness… and you already know which of those 2 options I choose every single day 💗 no matter how much pain my body and emotions might bring to me!😔
With much much love to YOU! 💗
pascal
Leave a reply