… little udpate for all of YOU <3 all being soooo amazingly caring and supportive to little me and my endless health struggles, pain, and “bad news”.
After yet another little “night in hell at UNC ER” 🙁 last night! …I am now OK and with much lower pain this morning! <3 YAYYYYY to that!!!! <3 SOOO grateful! <3
I was released from UNC’s Emergency Room around 3am this morning, after the pain lowered to a manageable 5/10 (was 12/10 when was at peak of excruciating pain when I drove myself to ER around 6pm lat night).
And 7 points of difference makes such a HUGE difference between ” I can’t stand it!… I can’t breathe… I am in tears…” 🙁 and… “I am in pain but can talk and move around” 🙂
So I was SOOOO GRATEFUL for whatever they put in the IV (and they did drip SEVERAL magical 😉 things in there! lol ) as after a few hours of unbearable pain it did indeed slow down…
By the way I have a couple of phone footage videos of me in horrible pain… and also some of me after the IV magical potion 😉 started to work its magic and I started to goof around with my amazing and so dear friend April who came to be there with me that night…
Both sides of that video footage might very well be “too much” or out of your comfort zone for some of you (the first category of random footage being of little me in SERIOUS pain… and the second category of little me having switched to my normal goofy silly mode since the pain was lower and April and I had nothing else to do in the midst of ER’s chaos than joke around and little me having switched quickly to “let’s be silly and amuse and entertain my beautiful April “… and which is of course and as those of you who know me well had already guessed in the type of “French PG 13/ rated R 😉 rated kind of silly/joking around material! lol )
But since my goal is to ONLY bring to all my Facebook friends happy inspirational beautiful joyful things, WITHOUT EVER shocking anyone… and as I always want to be extremely mindful of everyone’s different level of enjoyment of “humor” 😉 I will then not post any of those footage and as my mindfulness of all of you is my sole and prime guideline here, and all so important to my heart and soul <3
I wish I could share all from my life, the beautiful, the painful and the silly/crazy … but it might possibly be a little “too much” or “too French” 😉 for some people’s feelings and therefore of course I won’t 🙂
*** and if any of you would like for any reasons to watch either footage (all crappy quality videos of course based on circumstances)… either so that you can witness and identify what kidney stones generated pain looks like in a French accented silly man! lol (and recognize it for yourself or your loved ones if you ever have kidney stones to one day) – or if you want to see how I switch to ” French humor” lol whenever the pain starts to be manageable 🙂 please just send me a PM just saying “piggly wiggly pascal” (as you wiggle indeed endlessly when in that level of pain for it never stops even for an instant! 🙁 ) – or “after hours pascal” for the silly fun happening when I am bored in the ER and not in horrible pain anymore.. and I will send you link to it .. maybe! lol
And you might also wonder why I decided to “document” little me in horrible pain and as much as on some levels I am not sure of the reasons but I felt compelled to do it (just like I took photos with my Dad the hours before he died and yet never published them nor even looked at them… 6 years later…) there on some levels I know WHY I took such video footage which is that I want to remind myself when things are better or OK of how horrible they once were, which all helps me increase even more my endless gratefulness in my heart and days for my pain free hours and days <3 whenever they are gifted to me… and also videoed it for unknown reasons as well.. and like for many things in my life, I do NOT need to intellectually understand all of what I do while yet always following whatever “feels right” to my soul and life’s journey to do… so I just do it and go with the flow of my own thoughts and journey <3
Freedom of feeling and doing is such a gift to one’s journey <3
Also, on another level, I believe that the overall American culture does not favor enough sharing of ALL of our feelings and emotions, as well as life’s many ups and downs… and sharing in full vulnerability the very painful sides of our lives, just as we share the very happy ones… is something so beautiful to connect to all and feel even closer to everyone <3… for we ALL have pain and suffering in our lives and days… just as we have joys and love… and I am not any different… so sharing it all just feels very “right” and transparent and loving to my heart… so I just go ahead and do just that <3
But please know that I am OK this morning… yayyyy to that! <3 sooo grateful! <3 and that they decided not to insert stent up my weewee 🙁 last night as they are hoping I can sustain that occasional pain until my major surgery on 29th to remove 2 or 3 of the stones (they can only remove those from one kidney in one surgery 🙁 that part sucks as means I will need one day yet another full surgery for my other kidney! 🙁 )
And like the ER’s MD told me when releasing me “just except similar horrible pain to show up unexpectedly again a couple of times between now and your surgery ! 🙁 and just come back to ER is becomes unbearable again…” Sounds like a plan right!? lol NOT a fun plan! 😉 but a plan somehow…
I so truly hope that YOUR “saturday night” was a GREATTT one filled with endless fun and joys and love <3 and that you are enjoying this AMAZINGGGGGGGGGG tender beautiful weather down here in Durham! <3 (I can’t wait to walk around Woodlake this afternoon … maybe see you there? <3 )
With much MUCH love to YOU <3
Guess where I am!?…😉 once again!😔
Pain was a manageable 5 out of 10… and suddenly at 6pm it all shot up to 12/10!!!!😢😳😬😵 exactly like it did 5 days ago on my previous ER urgent trip…
This is definitely NOT going to be your normal “super fun and happy” kind of Saturday evening!!!
And just like last Monday, I barely made it driving to the ER and ducked down to the floor in triage the instant I arrived…
Waiting now for tests as my left kidney is infected and one (or several) of my 8 kidney stones have decided to move…
And they might, which DOES SCARES me quite a lot 😢 have to insert a 10 inches stent up my ureter all the way up through my bladder and kidney… and guess what!? they need to insert it …through my penis!!!😢😢😢
So I ever so gently warned them that my little friend is going to be…well… soooooo smalllllll lol 😳😁 if they decide to do that!!!
I truly hope that YOU❤❤❤on the other hand, are having a fantastic Saturday evening❤🌻 … And knowing of YOUR happiness(when I say that word, thanks to my still very present French accent, many friends tell me it sounds like I am saying “a penis”! lol well…how appropriate for tonight!😁😉) always brings great joy to my heart no matter how horrible my day could be…
With much much love to YOU ❤❤❤
GENERIC TEXT TO POST ON FACEOOK
… sharing with you a little update/post I had written BEFORE last night’s yet again visit at the Emergency Room… and AFTER my very same “night of hellish pain” that happened last monday…
I totally forgot to post it… all interrupted by endless roller coaster pain and more medical struggles…
Here is for you now and please forgive the typos and grammar errors… the pain started once again tonight and I don’t have enough energy to correct that post for today…
I hope that you enjoyed that AMAZINGGGG tender beautiful weather offered to us in Durham today <3
With much MUCH love to you and all of those who live in our heart <3