Bonjour my dearest Friends <3
Whenever I get overtired or too down, which is sadly very common these days after my 6 surgeries in a row 😔… my closest friends always so kindly remind me of the very many – TOO MANY – reasons of why I feel that way (which is something so new and quite depressing to me as I used to have tremendous energy my entire life… but I am now accepting that things are different… very different…).
And some of the many reasons that they so caringly and sweetly remind me of, are…
- you had a massive heart attack and died for 8 minutes!…
- you had 6 surgeries in a row, and 3 of them were horribly painful…
- 40% of your heart is o forever “gone/dead” and is now scar tissue… so you are functioning on only 1/2 of a heart…
- most of us going through 1, or 2, of any of those surgeries, would be very tired and drained too… and you just went through all 6 of them, in 9 short months…
etc.
And they are all sooooo sweet to remind me of all that and much more, as it is very VERY easy for me to expect myself to be back fully to “normal”… since my spirit and heart definitely are… but I need to remind myself, or have others do so, that my body, and heart, never will return to “normal” 😔 such is my new reality… for me to accept, and embrace… <3
And one of the other many reasons that my many wonderful friends remind me of is that… I also take SOOOO MANY pills / meds that the combined interactions and accumulation of all of them ALSO does get me incredibly tired… in addition to their very many side effects, such as being waken up almost every morning with horribly painful cramps in my legs (thank you LIPITOR – which they put me on the maximum dosage of) … or headaches from other ones… or ocular migraines (suddenly seeing large white spots in the middle of my field of vision which makes it impossible to do anything for hours) etc.
So I thought of sharing with you today my cute little “breakfast” of pills 😉 which I am ALSO in very many ways SO THANKFUL for as, without them, I would probably be dead again… and maybe in a very permanent way this time 😉 
And by the way what you see on that pic on my hand is ONLY my non pain management meds… as, depending on how much pain I have on any given day in my arms, hands, neck, back, prostate, kidneys etc… I ALSO take, in addition to all of those, various pain killers.
And I now have little “spreads” out thorough the house (like the few that you see on my counter top in that little photos attached) to remind me of what to take and when…
My life was all changed in one instant, one fatal and yet very lucky night, all at once, from a life of “very few meds” … a life of LOTS of meds… after that very life changing January 26, at 1.04 am, when I collapsed to the floor of my kitchen from my sudden and massive heart attack while being at home alone (I, thankfully, had the ultimate reflex to call 911 a few minutes before I collapsed)
And I am of course overall deeply thankful for ALL those meds for, without them… I would simply not be writing these words to you <3
And I am also deeply THANKFUL to the millions of people involved in creating those medications… in testing them… in refining them… in manufacturing them… etc. … as well as to the Doctors prescribing them to me in such a way that I do not … hummm!?… literally implode or explode from all their interactions with each other ! lol
For anything and everything happening in your life, expected or unexpected, wanted or unwanted, please always remind yourself that there are pretty much ALWAYS dozens and dozens of sources of things to be GRATEFUL about… 💗💖💗💖💗💖 and that no matter how much pain and struggles you might have in your days, just like I do pretty much on 95% of my days, that you can still fill your heart, soul, mind and spirit with endless sources of gratefulness… and that CHOOSING to do so, will also totally change your heart and soul for the better…
With much MUCH love to you <3
pascal
Leave a reply